Laughing Through Life: November 28, 2012

bigfootAndrew Henderson

What’s tall, hairy, and has big feet?

Well, it’s not the mythical Bigfoot, according to the New York State Department of Environmental Conservation.

In a letter recently written to Peter H. Wiemer of Chautauqua, a Bigfoot enthusiast who had asked the state to provide endangered species protection to the creature, DEC Chief Wildlife Biologist Gordon R. Batcheller says Bigfoot simply does not exist.

“This mythical animal does not exist in nature or otherwise,” he wrote. “I understand, however, that some well organized hoaxes or pranks have occurred, leading some people to believe that such an animal does live. However, the simple truth of the matter is that there is no such animal anywhere in the world.

“I am sorry to disappoint you, he added. “However, no program or action in relation to mythical animals is warranted.”

Well, that’s a huge relief. I was always wondering if Bigfoot was roaming the Adirondacks. I was concerned that Sasquatch would break in and have a little fun at Water Safari — where the fun never stops!

I really can’t believe this story has been reported throughout the state. What’s next? The Tooth Fairy?

This whole Bigfoot ordeal can be traced to a letter Wiemer first sent to the DEC. He was concerned about the local “Harry from Harry and the Hendersons” (boy, did I get that a lot growing up) and his welfare.

You see, in today’s reality-TV saturated society, Wiemer was concerned that a new television show, SpikeTV’s $10 million dollar bounty for proof of a Bigfoot, would harm the hairy creature with big feet.

All this Bigfoot talk has got me wondering: why in the world would anyone try to play a hoax this like this? Who has the time?

By the way, if you want any information about Bigfoot, Wiemer is your guy. He created the Chautauqua Lake Bigfoot Expo. Since then, he found himself to be a confidant for those who had seen a Bigfoot.

“We have had nine eyewitnesses to date of Bigfoot sightings in Chautauqua County come forward resolving themselves of the burden of knowing what they saw and were afraid of or not willing to tell because of fear of ridicule,” he said. “All but one wished to remain anonymous.”

Steve Kulls, a Bigfoot researcher from the Adirondacks, reported at the Chautauqua Lake Bigfoot Expo May 6 that the first documented sighting of a Bigfoot in the USA was in Sackets Harbor, N.Y. in 1818. There have been other documented sightings in New York State over the years.

Bigfoot was unavailable to comment on this column.

To read the rest of the column, pick up the latest copy of The Valley News. You may also subscribe to the paper by calling 598-6397

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