The last few columns I have been writing about my all-weird-funny baseball team.
I still have one more column left in the series, but I’m going to hold off in order to write about a different sport altogether: Major League Eating.
Last week, we celebrated the Fourth of July. We celebrated the birth of the United States of America — and the fact that we kicked the British to the curb!
That fact reminds me on a true story. I once had a British teenager in my church youth group. He moved to the area with his family.
When his first Fourth of July came around, he was confused on why we were celebrating.
After he was told the reasons — ie. we didn’t like the queen and that they drive on the wrong side of the road, among others — he said, “Wait, we fought the Americans?”
Apparently, they don’t teach that in British classrooms.
And on that note, is there a better way to celebrate our triumph than to watch a bunch of gluttonous professional eaters slurp down hot dogs like they were slimy, slithering gummie worms?
Last Wednesday, the Nathan’s Famous Fourth of July International Hot Dog Eating Contest was held at Coney Island. Competitors — both male and female — gathered to make a run at the prestigious “Mustard Yellow Belt” (emphasis added for dramatic effect).
They were no match for Joey “Jaws” Chestnut.
Fox Sports had this to say about the event: “Joey Chestnut ate his way to a sixth straight win at the Fourth of July hot dog eating contest at Coney Island on Wednesday, downing 68 to tie his personal best in a sweaty, gag-inducing spectacle.”
Chestnut was neck-and-neck with competitors during the first half of the contest, but he pulled ahead in the remaining minutes when the other competitors slowed as the clock wound down.
If you have never watched this competition on ESPN, I urge you not to — unless you want to see hot dog chunks come flying out of a 100-pound dude like a Bob Gibson fastball.
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