Hodgepodge: April 14, 2012

by Roy Hodge

Remember this?

If you don’t recall the following information from when I ran it by you for the first time 19 or 20 years ago, I’m performing a public service by giving you the opportunity to read it now.

The April 13, 1993 Fulton Patriot column, like this one, was written just after Easter and included the following:

“Appropriately enough, this week is ‘Egg Salad Week,’ which the sponsor, The American Egg Board, says is dedicated to the many delicious uses of hard boiled Easter eggs.

“Personally, I am especially fond of egg salad sandwiches during the week after Easter. Other members of my family, through a tradition passed down to them by their mother, look forward to the week following Easter so they can have ‘Eggs A La Goldenrod,’ which is a combination of creamed egg whites covered by chopped up egg yolks.

“There will be no comment here about how I feel about eggs a la goldenrod. That may possibly be because the sandwiches I enjoy are made with Easter eggs which crack during the cooking process and the blue, orange, pink and purple dyes seep through to the inside of the shell.

“For some reason which I may someday have to explain to an analyst, I am attracted to the grotesque rainbow colored mass that materializes when those eggs are mixed with mayonnaise.”

I am still worrying and wondering about some of the same things that I was worrying and wondering about twenty years ago. In April, 1992 I wrote the following:

“I don’t wonder anymore about what happens to the light in the refrigerator when the door closes but I sometimes think about what might happen if I was a day or two late buying one of those items in the supermarket with the warning – Do not purchase after…

“I’ve gotten so I don’t worry too much about phosphorous, magnesium or zinc on the ingredients list, but I still wonder why there is something as lethal sounding at pantothenic acid in a glass of milk.

“I wonder if the ‘Breakfast of Champions’ that I ate 40 years ago had pyridoxine hydrochloride in it and I’d like to know how many Twinkies someone has to eat to get their recommended daily allowance of monosodium stearate.

“I am only a little intimidated by that threatening tag on the bottom of my mattress these days, but I still can’t figure out why the line I just left at the grocery store because it wasn’t going anywhere starts moving swiftly along while the cashier in my new line has apparently gone to lunch.

“I think I may have finally figured out the difference between a storm watch and a storm warning, but I’m still having trouble with partly cloudy and partly sunny.

“Why did those Gene Autry and Roy Rogers movies that I spent Saturday afternoons watching when I was a kid look so good to me then and so corny now when I watch them on television?

“How come the two busiest departments in book stores sell cookbooks and diet manuals?

“Why does Current Resident get more mail at my house than I do, and why do all the envelopes addressed to me have those little windows?

“Oh, yes, whatever happened to all those perfectly good socks of mine that have come up missing during the past thirty years?”

(Note: The references to twenty and thirty years ago in these articles can probably be changed to forty and fifty years or more.)

To read the rest of the column, pick up a copy of The Valley News

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